![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frightenedAnd when I'm done rolling on the floor laughing, I'll probably be offended and upset and whatnot. But for now, I'm Lorna the ROFLator.
So, today I discovered that my counsellor, the person I go to to try and come to terms with the chronic mental illness that might kill me, has a problem with mental illness. Actually, I'd say my soon-to-be-ex-counsellor is part of the problem with mental illness.
I'd been suspecting that his view of depression and mine were not the same, given his use of weasel words like "problem" and "issues", and his obvious discomfort when I used words like "crazy" and "brain disease". Today I managed to get his view out of him, with a bit of poking and acting more innocent and ignorant than I in fact was.
Apparently I am not crazy, because I'm not *strange wobbly arms-and-torso gesture*. (He has in the past said that I don't "act crazy", which makes me worry, if the people in his life stare at the floor and cry uncontrollably and that's somehow normal.)
I claimed ignorance.
He explained that crazy is schizophrenia, which is serious.
I pointed out that someone with depression is more likely to kill themselves than someone with schizophrenia.*
He said - wait for it, because this is a good one - that schizophrenics kill other people.
I was briefly stunned into silence. Then I said, "Please tell me you don't actually believe that." With further prodding, I established that he thinks attacks by schizophrenics** are more common than, say, domestic violence.
He also expressed astonishment that I would, in calling myself "crazy", be prepared to be associated with Those People. And said that crazy is a derogatory term, before going on to explain to me how schizophrenics really were crazy.
Did I mention this guy is a counsellor? Because this guy is A FRIGGING COUNSELLOR. I don't even know, you guys. Maybe I should just post him a bunch of Mind leaflets on the subject of stigma and danger and whatnot, and stay the fuck away from him for evermore. (I did try to interject with some tiresome 'factual information', but I don't think it made a dent.)
* I think it's worth saying that generally, I don't think "A is worse off than B" is a useful road to go down. He has pursued that in the past, and got responses varying from "well, good for them, and I'm sure they're a very noble inspiration" to "yeah, and 24,000 people starve to death every day, and we should be worrying about that instead of sitting here discussing my feelings like middle-class whiners." I know I'm not the craziest or the worst-off, mmkay? It doesn't help.
** Goddamn it, six years of training my violence to expert*** levels, and I've gone and ruined it by picking the wrong mental illness. How am I supposed to kick someone's brain out the back of their head now?
*** Not really. I mean, I really did three years of Kyokushinkai and three years of Shotokan karate. But that makes me far, far from an expert.
So, today I discovered that my counsellor, the person I go to to try and come to terms with the chronic mental illness that might kill me, has a problem with mental illness. Actually, I'd say my soon-to-be-ex-counsellor is part of the problem with mental illness.
I'd been suspecting that his view of depression and mine were not the same, given his use of weasel words like "problem" and "issues", and his obvious discomfort when I used words like "crazy" and "brain disease". Today I managed to get his view out of him, with a bit of poking and acting more innocent and ignorant than I in fact was.
Apparently I am not crazy, because I'm not *strange wobbly arms-and-torso gesture*. (He has in the past said that I don't "act crazy", which makes me worry, if the people in his life stare at the floor and cry uncontrollably and that's somehow normal.)
I claimed ignorance.
He explained that crazy is schizophrenia, which is serious.
I pointed out that someone with depression is more likely to kill themselves than someone with schizophrenia.*
He said - wait for it, because this is a good one - that schizophrenics kill other people.
I was briefly stunned into silence. Then I said, "Please tell me you don't actually believe that." With further prodding, I established that he thinks attacks by schizophrenics** are more common than, say, domestic violence.
He also expressed astonishment that I would, in calling myself "crazy", be prepared to be associated with Those People. And said that crazy is a derogatory term, before going on to explain to me how schizophrenics really were crazy.
Did I mention this guy is a counsellor? Because this guy is A FRIGGING COUNSELLOR. I don't even know, you guys. Maybe I should just post him a bunch of Mind leaflets on the subject of stigma and danger and whatnot, and stay the fuck away from him for evermore. (I did try to interject with some tiresome 'factual information', but I don't think it made a dent.)
* I think it's worth saying that generally, I don't think "A is worse off than B" is a useful road to go down. He has pursued that in the past, and got responses varying from "well, good for them, and I'm sure they're a very noble inspiration" to "yeah, and 24,000 people starve to death every day, and we should be worrying about that instead of sitting here discussing my feelings like middle-class whiners." I know I'm not the craziest or the worst-off, mmkay? It doesn't help.
** Goddamn it, six years of training my violence to expert*** levels, and I've gone and ruined it by picking the wrong mental illness. How am I supposed to kick someone's brain out the back of their head now?
*** Not really. I mean, I really did three years of Kyokushinkai and three years of Shotokan karate. But that makes me far, far from an expert.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-05 09:24 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you have to talk to him for any reason, let alone when he's trying to "help" you.