frightened: (karate)
[personal profile] frightened
But while it is, in fact, illegal, DON'T GROW IT ON MY ALLOTMENT, YOU MONUMENTAL ARSEHOLES!!!!!

So the wife was weeding up the far end of my allotment today, while I was digging out bindweed roots and planting spuds. And she says "Er, there's a plant with seven leaves down here." Well, there were two. With marks of watering, and potting compost still in their roots.

Some fucker planted cannabis on the overgrown end of my allotment. I pulled it up in a rage, and I was going to dispose of it somehow (hadn't planned that far ahead), and the Voice Of Reason (also known as the wife) pointed out we should probably contact the police. So we did.

I'm not in favour of the war on drugs. I think drugs should be legalised. I don't give a damn if someone smokes weed (although if you drive stoned, you're an irresponsible potentially-murdering fucker and you really should be arrested, just like if you drive drunk). I disagree with arrests for possession. I also think growing your own is better than giving money to organised crime.

But here's the thing: it is still illegal. When you possess or grow weed, you are taking a calculated risk. And you don't get to make other people take calculated risks without their knowledge or consent. You don't get to plant - no pun intended - drugs on me. Take responsibility for your own fucking habit, and grow it on your own fucking property.

Also, I know you can't tell because it looks like shit, but I work hard on that allotment. Clearing a couple of cubic feet of stones and invasive weeds takes me about an hour of sweating and hayfever and sunburn and backache. You don't get to treat it like an abandoned piece of waste ground that's yours for the taking. Fuck off.

And then things took a turn for the weirder still, when the police did show up and tried to convince us it was just mint! What species of mint has long, thin, serrated leaflets arranged in three pairs leading up to a single long one? What species of mint smells like the top deck of a bus that goes through Handsworth? And who the hell goes to that much trouble to cultivate mint where they think it won't be found?

The police were also singularly unhelpful when we raised the issue of my stuff being trashed in revenge for destroying the plants. "Did they see you pulling them up?" Well, no, but I think they'll notice that they're not there any more! And when they do, I'd quite like my garden to stay in one piece.


Date: 2011-04-23 08:48 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Actually there's a simpler test for not-mint: all mint has square stems. It's an easy thing to check. Hemp has round stems like almost all other plants.

Re: Well...

Date: 2011-04-23 09:01 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Yep, square stems in mint family:
People often confuse (purposely or accidentally) catnip with hemp. It's handy to have a quick-check, obvious distinction for the most common "look alike" plants.

I do agree that planting illegal plants in someone else's allotment is Wrong. It is to be hoped that the bad karma will follow them home and infest their entire crop with mildew.

Re: Well...

Date: 2011-04-23 09:32 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
>>But the leaves are so short and fat! Ditto mint. These leaves were longer and thinner and more dramatically serrated. And, you know, arranged differently. <<

Obvious differences to you and me, but we're plant people. I can tell a car from a truck, but looking at a car I mostly just peg its color. Other folks can tell model and year at a glance based on details. It depends on what you've filled your database with. Mine is mostly live things.

>>I hope the bindweed and horsetail and brambles and twitch that infest my allotment follow them home <<

I hope so too. Even weeds need a home!


frightened: Photo by Jason B (Default)

August 2012


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